My new “Cooking Q&A” column is up and running. And I posted some new Mystery Photos.

I’m working on some website changes in preparation for my next cookbook. In the next few days I’ll be starting a “Cooking Q&A”column to answer anyone’s questions. I’ve been cooking for almost 40 years and my goal is to encourage more people to cook at home and eat healthy food. Once the column is up and running, my new blog will be next!

They didn’t use my “headline” last night on the Tonight Show. I thought it was really funny. It was a rental ad on Craigslist, the 10th one down on the list: “Nice Condom for Rental.” (maybe it’s too good and they’re holding it for sweeps!)

Vicki writes…
Dear Jenny,
My daughter is 14 years old and I know I’m not supposed to pry but I looked in her room and found a note she either wrote or got that ended with, “Let’s get high.” Well I’m no dummy and I know she must be smoking pot. But here’s what I’m confused about. If I confront her, she’ll know I was snooping. What’s even worse is that I did some drugs in my past (not any more!) so how can I tell her not to do it when I did? Please help.

My response…
Dear Vicki,
Whatever you did in your past, don’t let it keep you from being the best parent you can be. Your daughter doesn’t need to know you were snooping which, by the way I don’t see as a problem. Why not sit her down to have “the talk” about sex, drugs, and boys, etc. You don’t have to confront her or tell her you found the note, just make it part of a larger conversation. If she knows about your past, focus on the negative impact that drugs had on you. Tell her it’s a different world today with a lot more dangers than when you were a teenager. You know that’s true. It’s tougher than ever to be a parent and I know it’s not easy but you can do this. Find your own way to advise her about boys, sex, and drugs. It’s your job to give her the best direction you can and keep that little voice of yours in her head. And the next time she’s confronted with a risky situation, let’s hope your voice is the loudest one she hears.
Jenny

Bobbie writes…
Dear Jenny,
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m dating this guy for almost 2 years now. His ex-wife uses their sons (19 & 21) to talk to him. The boys are grown and his 21-year-old lives with us. I have 2 daughters (18 and 22). If I want to know something I call them and NOT my ex! She won’t! She has to call my man! He told me right before Valentines Day that she wanted him back and she was just using her boyfriend until she can get back on her feet again. When we moved in together she had a fit! She was soooo mad! I later found out from a friend of theirs that he told her they would be back together in 2 years. She has been in our home. And we started getting her junk mail! She has NEVER lived here so why are we getting mail with her name on it? She said she gets mail for him too! She keeps calling and sending him text messages which he clears from his messages except for her name. His phone rang the other day and it was a text from her saying that and he sends her emails of porn. WTF!!! He hides her messages and calls her when I’m not around! We were in Florida for Christmas and she called him to read The Night Before Christmas to him! Knowing we were together! Where was her boyfriend? Why couldn’t she read it to him! He talks to her more then he does me.

My gut is telling me to watch out! I feel like I’m more a maid then a girlfriend! We only fight when her name comes up! I HATE her!!!!! I want to kick her fat ass soooooo bad! She even posted nude photos of herself online! She’s about 300 pounds and 6 feet! Come on! He says I’m the best thing to happen to him but if so, why does he send her porn? Or emails! I love him but I don’t know if I’m just over reacting. I know she’s trying to come between us! Should I let her? I sold EVERYTHING to move here and be with him! I left all my friends and
family for this shit?!? When I called her she said this wasn’t my home but her sons! WTF!!! Hell no! I work and their son doesn’t! This is mine and my boyfriends home!!! No one else’s!
Am I in the wrong here?

My response…
Dear Bobbie,
Are you wrong here? Yes! You are mad at the wrong person. Your boyfriend is totally disrespecting you by maintaining a relationship with his ex. HE is the one hiding her messages, saying he’ll be back with her, sending her emails (and porn!), letting her come to your home, get mail there, accepting her calls and messages. How many signs do you need? She’s only there because he wants it that way. He says you’re the best thing to happen to him and it’s true. You work, you clean his house, and you are letting him have a relationship with his ex. What guy wouldn’t want that? Why are you letting him use you like that? If you gave up a lot for him, then he needs to give up his ex for you. Otherwise, find a man who doesn’t want to play games.
Jenny

We posted some more new How-To videos today. They were really fun to make so I’ll be doing more soon. Because of continued extra traffic on this site, today we also went to a larger server so the videos should load faster. I bought some tomato plants for my garden and went to the drugstore for band-aids and floss.

Luke writes…
Dear Jenny,
I’m a 15 year old gay male. I’ve been with 7 older men. I’m currently in a relationship with a 28 year old guy. He’s really great and I love him very much so. I told my family about him and they flipped. My grandmother actually had the nerve to say he was a “pedophile.” Although legally this is true, I feel completely different; on our first date I wanted to become intimate but HE was the one to say “that we need to take it slow and get to know each other.” I know there’s a huge age gap but we love each other. He wants to meet them and be a part of my life. I don’t know how I’m going to work that out though. I don’t want to keep lying to my family but I’m not backing out of this because of them. Please Tell Me What To Do Jenny…
Sincerely,
Luke

My response…
Dear Luke,
I hope you’re not expecting me to support you in this because I can’t. I applaud your family for taking issue with this relationship because it means they care about your wellbeing. Any sexual relationship between a 15-year-old and a 28-year old in unacceptable, and very likely illegal where you live. My reaction would be the same if this was a straight relationship so please be clear that it’s not about your being gay. It’s about an older person manipulating and taking advantage of someone vulnerable. It concerns me that you are the one who wanted to be intimate and I urge you to put your sex life on hold for a while. No one should be intimate on a first date, no matter what age. I’m guessing he says he wants to take it slow so he won’t get arrested. Luke, I know your emotions are strong right now but please do not continue this relationship. If it’s meant to be, wait until you’re out of your teens – but I’m pretty sure by the time you’re 20, you’ll look back on this and see that everyone objected for good reason. The bigger issue is why have you been with 7 older men? What are you looking for from them that’s missing from your life? A lot of young people give up sex to be accepted because they feel that’s all they have to offer. I hope you can speak to a counselor or therapist and maybe talk this out and build up your confidence so you can build an appropriate relationship with someone close to your age, a relationship built on friendship and common interests. If it eventually leads to sex, then it won’t be the only thing you have to give. If you were my son, this man would never be welcome in our home, and if he had sex with you, I would have him arrested. I’m sorry this is not what you want to hear but if this man truly cared about you, he would respect you enough to stay away. Don’t lie to your family. You’re clearly not in a position to see this man for who he is, but I hope you’ll trust that some of us who are older and wiser are looking out for you.