My popcorn hull seems to have moved on so my day was not a total floss.

-Dad gummit! I think it’s gone.

-I think I feel it again… What the hull?!?

-To tell the tooth, I’m not really sure.

How can something as good as popcorn have a dark side?  I made my fluffy paper lunch bag pop corn Friday night and I guess a hull got stuck up inside my gum.  I woke up Saturday with swollen and sore gums.  Flossing didn’t help and I wonder if it pushed the hull up even farther. This morning I woke up with a headache on the same side and even more pain and swelling.  I called my dentist’s office and left a message asking where I could go today for emergency hull extraction. She called back and said I was her second call this weekend for popcorn hulls (who knew?) and told me to rinse with hot salt water and put some Anbesol on it. I also took a Tylenol. It helped a lot, in fact I don’t know if the hull came out or if I’m just masking the pain and it’s still up there. That’s why I’m not big on pain pills because masking the pain doesn’t solve the problem.  You have to find the cause and fix that. If I could see it, maybe I could do something but I can’t see up there in the back. Well, I know this will pass but the bigger issue is what will this trauma do to my popcorn-enjoying experience?  Will I be overcome by anxiety? Will I hesitate before every crunchy bite?  Should I chew and floss between each bite? Should I eat it one piece at a time and first remove the hull? I LOVE popcorn.  Will life ever be the same? Will I have to snack on pudding?

I was driving down Ventura Boulevard today when I saw a bicycle coming up in my side view mirror.  It was going pretty fast and I was a little jealous because he was making better time than I was.  When I stopped at a red light, he pulled up next to my window and I thought “This guy is NOT trying to make a move on me!  Could he be a fan who recognized me and wants an autograph?  Maybe he’s lost and needs directions.”  Then I saw the badge. He motioned for me to roll down my window. “I’m officer Boyles with the LAPD.  Can I see your drivers license please?”  WHAT?? I didn’t do anything!  Did I cut him off?  Did I not make a full stop?  Was I stopped over the pedestrian line? Maybe my plates were expired. “Is there any reason you’re not wearing your seatbelt?” he said. “Damn you!” I said. “I was just going to Whole Foods. I don’t see you strapped onto your bike!”  Okay, I didn’t say it out loud, but I thought it. – What I said out loud was: “My only reason is stupidity, officer.  I know I deserve a ticket.”  Officer Boyles was kind enough to let me off with a warning but I have learned my lesson.  Whether you wear a seatbelt for safety or to avoid a ticket, you’ve gotta do it.  What he didn’t see was I had just gotten off the cellphone (also illegal in CA).  If he had seen that, I’d be blogging from the big house.