I didn’t feel a thing.

But two earthquakes in one day?

The closest one was around 8 this morning and I was still asleep. It was a 3.9 with five aftershocks.

The other one hit overnight last night but it was farther away. I can’t complain about these minor earthquakes when Hurricane Sandy is headed for the east coast at the same time. They are predicting it with such precision but I’m still hoping that winds may change and it won’t be the “perfect storm” that appears to be looming. We can only hope.

I actually like grocery shopping. Now that I’m not on TV, I come and go to the grocery store and Whole Foods, enjoying the fact that no one recognizes me, allowing me to go out in sweat pants, a pony tail, and no makeup. I look more like someone who works for a celebrity. So last week I went to my regular Whole Foods and as I was checking out, the checker says to me, “You’re buying more today than you usually do.” I’ve shopped there for years but was surprised that she would remember a customer’s buying habits. “You actually remember what your customers buy?” I asked. “Oh,” she said, “when a celebrity comes in, I usually remember.” Say what??? But I’m not famous any more! There are no makeup & hair people at my house! I come in here and none of the staff even glances at me! It was shocking because all this time, I thought I was invisible there. I guess I was living in denial. I suddenly realized that anyone with a cell phone could take my picture and I could find myself featured  in “Stars Without Makeup,” or they would create a new section just for me called “Stars Without Mirrors.”

I started looking over my shoulder when she stunned me even more. “When a celebrity shops here, people always want to know what they bought.” Com’on! Are you serious? So now I have to edit my shopping list? AND comb my hair? The checker assured me she never tells people what celebs are buying but what about all the other checkers? And the other Whole Foods? And grocery stores? And oh the horrors… the drug store! Can I ever buy red vines again? Hair remover? An enema? I don’t think so.

I did something today I’ve never done before. I bought a bra… at the drug store! I wasn’t looking for underwear but there it was, on a hanger just like at the mall stores. It was the same style that I wear. There was only one left. And it was my size. It was meant to be! I was either lucky to get the last bra, or I’ve hit a new low in lingerie selection. Waiting in the checkout line, all I could think was please, don’t let this be the day someone sees me and says, “Hey, aren’t you Jenny Jones? I used to watch your talk show,” while their inside voice is saying, “How sad. Jenny must have hit some hard times buying her underwear at Walgreens!” I haven’t tried it on yet (how about some fitting rooms at the drug store?) but it looks like a good bra. And when there’s only one left of anything, it always means it’s something good, right? …except when you’re buying fish.