“What’s up, Homie?” When I heard that, I knew there’d be trouble. When I was stopped for my seatbelt, I was also cited for not having proof of insurance so I went to the courthouse today to show proof that I had it all along. There were about 100 people in line and I noticed one guy close to the front who wasn’t there before. He was hard to miss, this middle Eastern man, with his red shirt, tight jeans, D&G belt buckle, a pack of Marlboros squashed in the front pocket and the shiniest pointiest shoes I’ve ever seen. He was watching a movie on his iPad and talking on his cell phone while standing directly under the “No Cell Phones” sign. There was some rumbling starting in the crowd and finally a young guy wearing a tight T-shirt with big muscles confronted him. “You cut in line,” he said and Red answered, “No, I didn’t.” “I saw you and you are not going to the window before me,” said the T-shirt/muscles guy. We all watched as they continued to argue and then an even bigger guy, with an even tighter T-shirt and even bigger muscles, got in T-shirt’s face. “What’s up, homie?” Oh oh. The crowd was silent and frozen still. “I said what’s up, homie? You got a problem?” When T-shirt tried to explain that Red cut in line, Bigger Muscles said, “Relax, man. Let it go.” “I won’t let it go, he cut in line.” Then chests got bigger, we got quieter, and BM said, “You want to take it outside?” “Yeah.” They started to move and I asked the guy in front of me, who weighed in at around 300, if I could take shelter behind him. I cowered in his girth as T-Shirt and his posse and BM and his homies headed outside. There was no security. The next thing I know, they are all talking and cooling down in the corner. We in line were so relieved no one died, we all started talking and laughing about it and it helped pass the time. Five minutes, later, Red shirt was back in line, cutting in front of about 60 people, but no one complained. After an hour and a half, I got to the window, cleared myself, paid a $25 fine, and as I started to leave, the clerk said, “You know, you could have done this in the mail.”