One luxury I enjoy is really soft sheets. They’re not always the most expensive, in fact the highest thread count is not always the softest sheet. I used to get Wamsutta Elite Sateen but they don’t make them any more. These were like sleeping on a cloud of fluffy whipped cream. Luckily, I had bought three sets before they stopped making them and figured they would  last for years. Imagine my horror when a few weeks ago, we discovered a tear in the bottom sheet.  This was not a tiny tear – it was two feet long!  This can’t be – it’s my Elite Sateen! But the sheets were old so I accepted that it was wear & tear and sewed it back together. The next time, the same sheet came up ripped again, this time in shreds. I decided that you can’t sew a sheet back together and threw it away. (actually, I cut it up into cleaning rags).

So, on to the next set of Wamsutta’s.  After two nights on the bed, this bottom sheet was torn too – multiple times. Two sheets in shreds?!  An investigation was in order. First of all, both the tears happened on HIS side of the bed so without placing blame, I asked Denis how he thinks this could have happened.  He reminded me the sheets were old and his skin is rougher and these things happen. Then I slowly glanced down at his bare feet. The nail on his big toe was so long, if he sat on the roof and stuck out his foot, that toe could shade the entire patio on a sunny day!

“You could slice a ham with that toe nail,” I said. “That’s what happened to the sheets!”  He refused to believe his toe nail was responsible, but I know different. If the last Wamsutta Elite gets destroyed, I’m buying him an industrial nail file, or maybe an electric sander.