An Ohio church is offering a drive-thru Ash Wednesday blessing for parishioners who might be pressed for time. What’s next… confessions on twitter?

A woman in Philadelphia dubbed the “Black Madam” was arrested recently at a so-called “pumping party” where she was about to perform illegal butt injections. All those stupid enough to participate didn’t realize you can obtain the same result by eating doughnuts.

The Six Billion Dollar Man (CSI creator Anthony Zuiker) is in divorce court hell. His soon-to-be ex-wife may be getting $443,528 a month.  All that CSI equipment can’t seem to find evidence of a prenup.

A man in a wheelchair was arrested after robbing a convenience store in Florida. He took a 12-pack of beer and made his getaway but got stuck in the sand behind the store. Police found him there, in his wheelchair, drinking a Bud Light. I’m guessing this was the second 12-pack of the day.

Snooki is pregnant! This pregnancy is going to require a lot of money… unless they sell bulk paternity tests at Costco.