My Beef With Santa

Hey Santa, What’s up Dawg? You chillin’ tonight?
Don’t get too cozy, ‘cuz I’m about to pick a fight.

I didn’t get bupkus last year, thanks to you
I wrote you a letter – how much good did THAT do?

You’re lucky you’re up north and not down here,
I would kick your ass. Somebody hold my beer!

Listen, fat man, you better stop slackin
Deliver the goods or bad things can happen.

Just bring me my stuff – I am not jokin’
If not, you may have to sleep with one eye open. 👀

I’ve been planning revenge through most of the year
Be a shame if something happened to one of your reindeer.

I’d be careful before drinking that next shot of eggnog,
And you may want to protect your precious little yule log.

My list this year is the same as my last one.
I’ve made my point, so don’t pull a fast one.

Just bring the nail clippers and hat – no games or schemes
Or I will haunt you and your elves every night in your dreams. 👻

Now I’m sorry for causing you all this stress
Cuz I just found those things at CVS.

I still love you, Santa! 😍