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Dear Diary

Ladies who lunch

Two lunches in one week – I must be one of those “ladies who lunch.”  But this time it was seeing an old friend, a  woman who worked with me during the entire 12-year run of my show so there was lots of catching up.  We met at the Marmalade Cafe in Calabasas and as soon as we sat down, a woman at the next table said, “Excuse me, but can I ask you a question?” Trying to appear humble, I was all prepared to say, “Why yes, I am the talk show host,” but instead, she threw me a curve.  “What do you do to have such beautiful skin?” She apologized for interrupting but said my skin was absolutely glowing and then my lunch date said the same thing. This was not the first time I’ve been asked that but it always surprises me because my skin is just my skin -I don’t know – I never really notice it glowing. I told her it’s something I work on regularly, doing scrubs every day, as well as my own facials, and sunblock rain or shine, but I thought it was more my healthy diet: no soft drinks, no alcohol, no fried food, lots of salads, but occasional pizza and that burger at Daily Grill. Today I had actually used a Sisley moisturizer that costs more than our lunch, the shoes I was wearing, and the new front tires on my car. But I switch products all the time and told her my skin looks the same when I use drug store products, too. Well, it was a nice compliment and it motivates me even more to keep taking care of my skin. Click below for My Six Step at Home Facial:

What happened to my sheets?

One luxury I enjoy is really soft sheets. They’re not always the most expensive, in fact the highest thread count is not always the softest sheet. I used to get Wamsutta Elite Sateen but they don’t make them any more. These were like sleeping on a cloud of fluffy whipped cream. Luckily, I had bought three sets before they stopped making them and figured they would  last for years. Imagine my horror when a few weeks ago, we discovered a tear in the bottom sheet.  This was not a tiny tear – it was two feet long!  This can’t be – it’s my Elite Sateen! But the sheets were old so I accepted that it was wear & tear and sewed it back together. The next time, the same sheet came up ripped again, this time in shreds. I decided that you can’t sew a sheet back together and threw it away. (actually, I cut it up into cleaning rags).

So, on to the next set of Wamsutta’s.  After two nights on the bed, this bottom sheet was torn too – multiple times. Two sheets in shreds?!  An investigation was in order. First of all, both the tears happened on HIS side of the bed so without placing blame, I asked Denis how he thinks this could have happened.  He reminded me the sheets were old and his skin is rougher and these things happen. Then I slowly glanced down at his bare feet. The nail on his big toe was so long, if he sat on the roof and stuck out his foot, that toe could shade the entire patio on a sunny day!

“You could slice a ham with that toe nail,” I said. “That’s what happened to the sheets!”  He refused to believe his toe nail was responsible, but I know different. If the last Wamsutta Elite gets destroyed, I’m buying him an industrial nail file, or maybe an electric sander.

New video

“You’ll hate the way you look, I guarantee it.” That’s the way I should have started this makeover show. These were young club kids who got to express themselves in their own creative & fun ways, and to be honest, I thought some of them did look better “before.” See what you think. http://demo.jennyjones.com/bt_video_highlights.shtml

And oh, hey… Denis and I went to Vegas after all and the roads were clear. We only went to take care of my stepmom’s affairs and only stayed overnight. It was a long, hard day and we were mentally exhausted.  Just before we headed back, I said, “Com’on, let’s play a dollar in the slots! We can’t come to Vegas and not play anything!” So before we checked out, we stopped at a poker machine and got out our dollar. There were about six different games to choose (I think) and we were so brain-dead, we both just stared at the screen and couldn’t figure out how to play any of them. Defeated, we sauntered away with our dollar.

What happened to real slot machines, anyway? I want to pull the arm. I want to put in real money. Clang, clang, clang! Alas, like many other things from the past, they’ve  been improved and replaced. They’ll wind up in a museum one day along with pay phones, typewriters, and a picture of me on Star Search.

Welcome to sunny Califor…. what?

This isn’t suposed to happen here! We pay good money to live in southern California and there is NO SNOW ALLOWED! If this happens again, I just won’t pay my taxes! First it rained for about two weeks and now this. I don’t have snow boots. I don’t think they sell snow boots here. Denis and I were planning to drive to Las Vegas tomorrow and highway 15 is closed. No one here knows how to drive in the snow and cars were sliding every which way, so they closed the road. I guess Vegas will have to wait.

On second thought, I think I will pay my taxes. Our jails are overcrowded and Wesley Snipes already has the corner room.

60% off!

I didn’t have the stones to go shopping on Boxing Day (the 26th) but I went out last night.  We actually have a mall with a Target and a Neiman Marcus. In the same mall! You can buy one blouse at Neiman’s for 60% off or buy five at Target for full price…and have enough left over for slippers, a set of bowls, two books, a lip pencil, and some toilet paper.

Our critter guy set 74 gopher traps on the back hill. What if the hill is all Swiss-cheesy inside and full of tunnels? When it rains tomorrow, those little rodents will have their own underground water park with a half-pipe and a wave pool.

I’m trying to learn Spanish so Denis got me a learning system on CD.  Es muy bueno y me gusto mucho. Quero hablar espanol porque mi amiga, Antonia, habla espanol con migo todos dias.

That was lame, wasn’t it?

I need more sandbags

All I want for Christmas is… more sandbags. 

Geez! Give us a break! It finally stopped raining today (for now) and the hill behind our house is still there so we’re luckier than some people around here.  We have sandbags along the back patio just in case, and we could use some more along the side for the next rain. That’s coming on Sunday. I went out to the back yard to check on the hill behind us and I saw this buck eating my grass. “Get out! Go away!” I kept yelling at him. “Stop eating the grass – you’ll expose the mud and cause as landslide!” The grass may be the only thing holding that saturated hill together!  He glanced up & kept eating.

Oh, a reminder if you’re making turkey dinner, don’t forget my recipe for fresh cranberries. It’s posted on the Recipes page.
 

I’ll be making a “petite” roast turkey just for two of us with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy,  green beans, cranberries, and deep dish pumpkin pie.  

Then cookies. Lots of cookies.

The rain sucks but there is one bright spot. I went to the mall this morning for one last minute thing and found parking! Hand to God.

(update – 4 hours later

Remember when I said my hill was fine?

Look at the size of the boulder that just came down!

Good news: It didn’t hit the house.

Bad news: It missed the deer. 😉

“Silent Night” by guess who?

Most people probably don’t know that before my talk show and before doing standup comedy, I was a musician & songwriter. I sang and played drums in a rock band and was also a backup singer for Wayne Newton in Las Vegas (I even wrote the theme music for the Jenny Jones Show!). So you can imagine how excited I was to sing again and especially to sing with the fabulous Brent Jones and the TP Mobb. It was back in December 2000.

I was so nervous that if it hadn’t been my own show, I would have probably cancelled.  I’m glad I didn’t because now, I can share it with you. Click here for “Silent Night.”

Madison, where are you?

I just found the video of our Christmas show from back in 2000 and it was all about children’s talent.  Here’s a clip of an adorable 5-year-old named Madison Arnold singing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” You’ve gotta see this. She is so cute!

By now, she’s probably a 15-year-old teenager and I would love to hear from her.  Madison, where are you?

If anyone knows her, please get in touch.  Meantime, enjoy this oh-so-cute performance.  Just click here.