I’ve picked about 150 tomatoes already from my unwanted, unplanted cherry tomato plant. I almost stepped on the rabbit yesterday who was trying to hide under the plant again. If he’s eating the tomatoes I wouldn’t know since there seem to be around 1,000 tomatoes on the plant which has now grown to 16 feet across. There’s even enough tomatoes for the mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, fruit-stealing squirrel. But he doesn’t want my tomatoes.. Nooooooo. He eats my white peaches.

I hope he chokes on a pit. He can beg me to give him a Heimlich but the only thing I’d give him is a shoebox. “Get in. We’re goin’ for a ride.”

Does anybody else get annoyed at the mall? I went there today and here’s my list…

~~ A giant chrome-plated Hummer parked in handicapped? I don’t think so.

~~ They had Christmas stuff at the Hallmark store. Com’on!

~~ Skinny jeans are not for everyone.

~~ The louder the music, the less money I spend.

~~ Who’s getting their teeth whitened at the mall???

~~ My size is always gone.

~~ When you get to the bottom of the escalator, MOVE!

~~ Just stay in your kiosk and leave me alone!

Is it just me? Bad mood? Low blood sugar? Too much squirrel-stress ?

Earlier this year, I noticed a plant sprouting in my garden right between two roses. I was about to pull it out but thought it looked like a tomato so I left it. I was so busy chasing that mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, fruit-stealing squirrel off my peach tree, I didn’t notice that it was growing. The next time I looked, I had a tomato plant. It was about two feet high with little flowers so I left it there. Today, it’s out of control! I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden, it’s HUGE, and loaded with cherry tomatoes. And heavy. I’m constantly tying it up because it keeps growing. Yesterday, I propped it up with some fencing I had and it’s still falling over. I didn’t plant it. I didn’t feed it. I didn’t want it. There are rose bushes under there… dying. Denis thinks that when that mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, fruit-stealing squirrel ate my potted cherry tomatoes last year, he was hiding out between the roses and left a seed in the ground. OMG, maybe he pooped it into the ground! Either way, he’s a pig. The tomatoes are starting to ripen but they’re inside the plant and I can’t get there. It’s 14 feet long and 8 feet deep! I’m not sticking my hand in there. Don’t snakes eat tomatoes? Something was moving in there yesterday and it had a tail.

I was stunned to receive a phone call today that the man who decided to give me a chance and put me on TV with my own talk show, Jim Paratore, died today. We worked closely together for the entire twelve-year run of the Jenny Jones Show. And we just had lunch a few months ago to catch up. Jim was with Warner Bros. for almost 20 years. Some of the many shows he was involved with include Extra, Judge Mathis, The People’s Court, The Rosie O’Donnell Show, The Tyra Banks Show, and TMZ. Jim was well known and very well respected in the television industry. I was told he was on a biking vacation in France with his wife and had a heart attack. He was only 58 years old. This is such a shock and so sad, especially for his wife and daughter.

R.I.P., my friend.

“Aren’t you gonna take your camera?” Denis said  as we headed out for a Sunday afternoon walk by the lake. “I guess so, but the last few times there wasn’t much to see. But okay, I’ll take it just in case.” Just in case…. we see a mother duck with NINE newborn babies in the water!

I’m so glad I took my camera. This picture only shows five babies because the other four kept wanting to play on land. They were the cutest little things and once, when another duck got too close, mom chased him away like a mad woman!

Then minutes later, along came a momma goose with her four little ones. Their dad was there too but this was the clearest photo of the babies. There were a lot of us taking pictures – some guys showed up with tripods, fancy cameras and humungous lenses – made mine look like an old Instamatic.

I’m going back next week to see if all the babies are still there. Thanks goodness we don’t have alligators here, only hawks, coyotes, and bobcats, so…

No worries.

I must admit I was pretty excited when someone told me I was part of a Trivial Pursuit question.

Then I heard I was part of a question on Jeopardy and also Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

So I decided to do my own “Who Really Knows Me?” quiz.

For anyone who thinks they know me, see if you can answer these questions:

1) Can you name five jobs I’ve had besides talk show host?

2) What’s my favorite thing to do?

3) What make & model car do I drive?

4) How long have I been with my partner, Denis?

5) Which of these critters has NOT appeared in my backyard: deer, coyote, pheasant, opossum, rattlesnake, skunk, squirrel, bobcat, rabbit, hawk?

I went out to check my apple tree today and guess who was sitting right underneath it? I don’t care if it’s cute – it’s a menace! …with really adorable ears… No. No. I won’t get caught up in its Easter basket cuteness. He’s just there to ruin my garden!

Seriously, take away those ears and it’s a rodent. … with really soft fuzzy fur… No! I must remember to hate this rabbit. I wonder what he’s thinking? (“Jenny’s a little late with the tomatoes this year. And she thinks it was the squirrel!”)

Look what I got for Valentine’s Day!

He loves me.

I know he does because…

1) He takes out the trash.

2) I went to the mall once without my wallet and he drove there and rendezvous’d with me in the parking lot, handed me my wallet, and drove home.

3) He’s not afraid of big spiders.

That’s all I need… and the chocolates.