My man, Denis, has been the love of my life for over 25 years but if the house caught on fire and I had to run back in to save just one thing, Denis would have to find his own way out. I would save my iPad! I love love my iPad! I take it everywhere I go – I even take it to bed to read or play games. I’ve been looking for a carrying case since I won’t ever leave it in the car but nothing came with a shoulder strap. So I decided to make one.

I went to Jo-Ann Fabrics last night and bought some reversible quilted material (cost: $4.66) and spent about 45 minutes to put it together. The wide strap is comfortable and now I can take my iPad everywhere I go and never have to leave it in the car. I left Denis in the car once but I was mad at him. Served him right. 😉

We drove back home yesterday after getting my stepmom moved. She’s now in a gated retirement community with good security so we have peace of mind. There wasn’t much time for fun or any shows but we can do that next time. We did have a great dinner buffet at the “M” which is a new hotel/casino as well as a really bad meal at the Mandalay Bay coffee shop –  don’t go there. The only gambling I did was the five minutes it took for me to lose at roulette and blackjack.

It’s so good to sleep in my own bed. Why are hotel beds so uncomfortable? Who knows what kind of abuse they take… Maybe there was a large man convention there last week and the Incredible Hulk and Andre the Giant were having pillow fights on that bed. Who can sleep anyway when you’re up all night looking for bed bugs? I have to stop watching those shows about horrible things in hotel rooms. This time I brought some disinfectant wipes and cleaned the doorknobs, phone, remote control (the worst!), and I found a hair in my bathtub! It was not mine. Next time I’d like to bring one of those UV lights and a pair of goggles to look for blood stains on the wall! I should just stay home!

Well, my gambling buddies, I wanted so much to surprise someone with a win but it was a bust. (: I told the dealer what I was doing and he suggested playing all the numbers at once for better odds.  I did and the number that came up was 33….. Boooo!

Since blackjack is my usual game, I tried that too – and I lost 20 bucks there too! Oh well, it was still fun and the next time I come here, I will try to win for somebody again. Thanks, guys, for playing along.  It looks like I have better luck with my baking.

We are off to Las Vegas for the week! My stepmom is moving and Denis and I are going to help with the move. I’m making her a surprise batch of my caramel corn as a housewarming gift – she loves that stuff. But we will make time for some fun… a little blackjack… a few sluts…. oops, I meant slots but we should see plenty of both.

I have a fun idea. If anyone has a lucky number, I will put a dollar on it for you in roulette. Can you play a dollar in roulette? Whatever the minimum bet, I will place it in your behalf. If your number wins, I will send you the winnings, assuming you trust me with your dollar. Oh wait — it’s not your dollar — but I will send you the winnings anyway. And keep my dollar. The winning odds on a single number are 35 to 1. (Denis will witness the bets)

This offer is good for the first 15 people who send me their lucky number. There are 36 numbers on the wheel. So I guess we’re having another contest of sorts. Should be fun. Good luck!!

I baked a whole bunch of Christmas cookies and left them for Santa but they were all still here in the morning. Since he didn’t eat his cookies, what to do? It’s a dilemma.

Maybe I should  eat them…

…all…

…today.

I’d like to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and I hope all your Christmas wishes come true.

One of my wishes came true when I got to sing with a gospel group. It was eleven years ago when Brent Jones and the TP Mobb performed on my Christmas show and invited me to sing with them. I was so nervous I thought I might faint but I got through it… with lots of love from the audience.

Click here to listen to our version of “Silent Night.”

Happy Holidays!

I had to sleep with earplugs last night because the house sounded like it was going to break apart. We had unbelievable wind gusts overnight, up to 97 miles per hour in some places! I couldn’t tell if the banging noises were from the doors shaking or windows rattling, or trees slamming against the roof, but I wasn’t going outside to find out.  I hid under the covers, trying to remember this was not an earthquake, and trying to sleep. Finally, I had to use earplugs which I don’t like to do because then I can’t hear the monsters when they come out of the closet (I should get some therapy for that!). Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever felt winds like that in my life, where the house feels like it’s moving. Trees came down all over town, onto houses, cars, and blocking a lot of roads. There’s more coming tonight, so anyone wearing a hairpiece should stay home.

We went to the zoo yesterday and saw all kinds of animals but no turkeys. I wonder where they all went?

The zoo was a great place to walk off some of my pumpkin pie.  There was a lot of noise coming from the chimps so I ran over with my camera but I couldn’t figure out what was going on. How about a good caption…

Halloween is not the only scary thing about October. I was out walking today and did not realize I was heading straight into a huge 4-foot spider web. I only noticed it because the spider that built it saw me coming and ran up to the top. I was inches away from walking right into it, face first. If that happened, you’d find me in the psychiatric ward of the hospital in the S.I.F.T. ward (Spider In Face Trauma!) This thing was HUGE! He ran up to the top and then looked down at me and I swear I heard a voice say, “What are you lookin’ at?” I decided to stare him down but then he started back down the web. He was either the biggest spider I’ve ever seen or he was carrying a backpack. I took a stick and knocked down part of the web and ran, afraid to look back in case he was mad and bungee jumped down his web to come after me. You know what doesn’t scare me now? Scorpions.