My Beef With Santa

Hey Santa, What’s up Dawg? You chillin’ tonight?
Don’t get too cozy, ‘cuz I’m about to pick a fight.

I didn’t get bupkus last year, thanks to you
I wrote you a letter – how much good did THAT do?

You’re lucky you’re up north and not down here,
I would kick your ass. Somebody hold my beer!

Listen, fat man, you better stop slackin
Deliver the goods or bad things can happen.

Just bring me my stuff – I am not jokin’
If not, you may have to sleep with one eye open. 👀

I’ve been planning revenge through most of the year
Be a shame if something happened to one of your reindeer.

I’d be careful before drinking that next shot of eggnog,
And you may want to protect your precious little yule log.

My list this year is the same as my last one.
I’ve made my point, so don’t pull a fast one.

Just bring the nail clippers and hat – no games or schemes
Or I will haunt you and your elves every night in your dreams. 👻

Now I’m sorry for causing you all this stress
Cuz I just found those things at CVS.

I still love you, Santa! 😍

I turned 78 today. Technically, I’m in my 79th year and that means I’m approaching 80! I think I still look good but when I ask for my senior discount, nobody ever says, “Com’on now…. really?” 😀

Bob Saget was everything you have seen written about him since he suddenly passed away this week. He was simply one of the nicest people you could meet. I had the good fortune to be his opening act when we were both touring the comedy clubs in the early 1980s. Along with everyone else who ever knew him, I’m so sorry and still shocked at his sudden passing this week. May he rest in peace.