I had to sleep with earplugs last night because the house sounded like it was going to break apart. We had unbelievable wind gusts overnight, up to 97 miles per hour in some places! I couldn’t tell if the banging noises were from the doors shaking or windows rattling, or trees slamming against the roof, but I wasn’t going outside to find out.  I hid under the covers, trying to remember this was not an earthquake, and trying to sleep. Finally, I had to use earplugs which I don’t like to do because then I can’t hear the monsters when they come out of the closet (I should get some therapy for that!). Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever felt winds like that in my life, where the house feels like it’s moving. Trees came down all over town, onto houses, cars, and blocking a lot of roads. There’s more coming tonight, so anyone wearing a hairpiece should stay home.

We went to the zoo yesterday and saw all kinds of animals but no turkeys. I wonder where they all went?

The zoo was a great place to walk off some of my pumpkin pie.  There was a lot of noise coming from the chimps so I ran over with my camera but I couldn’t figure out what was going on. How about a good caption…

Halloween is not the only scary thing about October. I was out walking today and did not realize I was heading straight into a huge 4-foot spider web. I only noticed it because the spider that built it saw me coming and ran up to the top. I was inches away from walking right into it, face first. If that happened, you’d find me in the psychiatric ward of the hospital in the S.I.F.T. ward (Spider In Face Trauma!) This thing was HUGE! He ran up to the top and then looked down at me and I swear I heard a voice say, “What are you lookin’ at?” I decided to stare him down but then he started back down the web. He was either the biggest spider I’ve ever seen or he was carrying a backpack. I took a stick and knocked down part of the web and ran, afraid to look back in case he was mad and bungee jumped down his web to come after me. You know what doesn’t scare me now? Scorpions.

1. I went to the mall today… actually, I didn’t get in because I could not find parking. Even the handicapped spaces were taken. How is it that so many handicapped people are driving a Lexus or Mercedes? Oh, I suppose they must have been injured, got one of those TV lawyers and won a big settlement and then spent the money on a luxury car. There could be no other explanation…

2. If a man says something when he’s alone in a forest and nobody hears him, is he still wrong? (this ponderance may be a reflection of how my day went today)

3. What happened to Charlie Sheen’s teeth?

It’s one thing for me to post pictures I take in my back yard but quite another to take those photos and create a collage of all my back yard visitors. That’s exactly what my facebook friend, Brian, did in his spare time. He did such an awesome job and clearly spent a lot of time to do this, so I want everyone to see it. I love my backyard and consider all the visitors ‘family,’ even the ones I love to hate (like the mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, tomato-stealing squirrels). If  all seventeen showed up at once, who would be the last one standing?  Who would escape? Who would become lunch? Would any of them work together as a team or would they backstab each other to survive? I know who would run & hide like a scared little girl…