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I need advice

I know I’ve said a lot of nice things about my man, Denis, but I’m not feeling it right now. It’s always been my responsibility to schedule our health checkups, like annual physicals, teeth cleaning, eye exams, etc., which I do and Denis has always gone as scheduled. But we are now at a standoff and I don’t know what to do. He refuses to go for an eye exam. He hasn’t had one in three years and the worst part is – he made a promise! He promised me last year he would go by Valentine’s Day of this year. And just like everything else, he left it until the last minute and had to go out of town and there was his excuse. Well he’s been back for a month and every time I ask, he says he’ll do it but guess what? He’s not doing it. Here’s everything I’ve tried:
1. I said I would make the appointment so he won’t have to – he said no.
2. I gave him articles saying why it’s important to get annual eye exams. No.
3. I asked him to do it for me for last Christmas – it was the only gift I wanted. No.
4. I asked him to do it for Valentine’s Day and he PROMISED he would. He didn’t.
5. I told him no more hugs until he goes. It didn’t work – I needed a hug yesterday.
6. I stopped making his favorite snack – deviled eggs. So what?
7. I have refused to make my barbeque ribs. No big deal.
8. I tried harassing him every day. Nothing changed.
9. I said, “I don’t care if you never go.” Neither did he.
10. I tried sulking but he thought it was for something else stupid he did.
Anyway, I need advice. He needs to get his eyes checked. How hard can it be? A teeth cleaning is more stressful than an eye test. And doesn’t he have to bend over for a physical? Hey….I almost forgot….he went willingly for his colonoscopy! Twice! And they can’t poke around his eyes???

Why we love Mrs. News

If you’re a regular visitor, you know Mrs. News (Kathy) is giving back to those facing struggles by crocheting beautiful, colorful “chemo caps” and she donates them to cancer patients going through chemo. How wonderful for people to know that a stranger wants to help. I originally posted a photo of these lovely caps on January 31st and since then, a website visitor (Marsha), who recently started crocheting chemo caps, asked Kathy for, and received, the pattern.  Then today, this message came in: “Hello, I came across this site by accident and saw your beautiful and colorful caps. They’re gorgeous! I would love to purchase a couple for my 18yr old daughter who was recently diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma cancer in February 2011. She has lost all of her hair. She is in chemo treatment every 2 weeks. She has received many nice caps from generous people but would really enjoy some colorful and bright, spring colors. Thank you for your consideration. Gwen Dela Cruz

Kathy, you are an angel, a role model, and a special kind of “Jenny’s Hero.” Here is the link to Gwen’s daughter, Alexis’ story:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexisdelacruz/mystory

And here is another look at Kathy’s beautiful caps…

UPDATE (April 3rd): Kathy reports that Alexis has received her Chemo Caps and loves them. Kathy says, “That made me feel like I was able to help her smile, at least for a little while. I also included a pair of “funglasses” to make her smile. I am also sending many more to her to pass out at the childrens cancer ward. I wanted to thank you for being the bridge for connecting us!”

Those zombie eyes

I haven’t seen the Baron since last Friday when that nasty squirrel claimed my yard, waiting for our plums to get ripe. I would have gladly shared those plums with the Baron, but then if he didn’t like my eggs, I’m not sure he’d appreciate the fruit either. I keep looking for him every morning but I will always have the memory of my transient beautiful pet. He’s not the first exotic pet in my life.  When I was ten, my mother let me get a monkey. Oh, yes she did! What was she thinking? I begged and begged, “If I can have a monkey, I’ll never ask for anything again for the rest of my life!” It was a complete disaster. It was a squirrel monkey and I refused to keep him in a cage – that would be no fun. The first time I let him out, this thing flew – and I mean FLEW like he had wings… across the kitchen, knocking over cups and glasses and food, and frankly, scaring the hell out of me. Luckily, the pet store had a return policy (probably standard for monkeys and pythons). I had a little more sense when I was younger. At nine, my dad let me get a little bunny rabbit. Every kid wants a bunny rabbit at Easter time. But things didn’t go well for “Sniffles.” I had fun with him for a while but once he got bigger and fatter, my dad cooked him. I didn’t strike me as odd but even this neighbor’s kid knew something was up. Those zombie eyes were trying to warn me…. “I see dead rabbits.”

I need squirrel ammo

The Baron never showed up all weekend.  Why should he? There was nothing for him to eat.

Oh, there was food alright – I put out plenty of seeds & nuts and corn. But somebody crashed our bird party and ate it all. I put more food out – gone again!

I need squirrel ammo. “Ka-pow!!”

Then Baron Von Jonesenheimer III could come back for some squirrel sausage… and I could use a new wallet.

Something New

I’ve decided it wasn’t fair that the only pictures on the blog are mine so we have a new way to send photos you’d like to share.  When I say “we” that would be Damon who set it all up – I just had tea.

So… show us what you’ve got: pictures of your family, your dog, your cat, your ring-necked pheasant (!), your pretty face, your new shoes, or just “look what I did.” It should be fun! 🙂

Just click the camera to get started…

Yes, hard-boiled eggs

Is it cannibalism to feed hard-boiled eggs to a pheasant? I don’t think so.  It wasn’t a pheasant egg, it was a chicken egg. We feed beef to dogs. A cow is to a dog as a pheasant is to a chicken, n’est pas? Seriously, they say to feed hard-boiled eggs to pheasants. Here’s the page from the pheasant and peafowl website:

http://www.gbwf.org/pheasants/pheasant_diets.html

I still say Baron’s got a bad attitude. Pheasants are starving in China.

Scandals on the View

I was contacted last month by a producer at The View with an invitation to appear on the show.  If you saw that post, you’ll know I was suspicious about why they wanted me during sweeps. “We’re doing a ‘Where Are They Now’ week and would love to catch up with Jenny,” they said. My rep had to ask the question. “Is this about the talk show scandal?” The producer admitted they would ask one question about it but this was mostly about what Jenny is doing now. I declined. So I thought I would check and see who actually appeared on their ‘Where Are They Now’ week.  Let’s see… where do I start?

How about starting with exactly how the week of Feb. 21st was promoted on their website: “All week long The View is bringing back the most scandalous stories of their time.”

Monday: Amber Frey – Wife-killer Scott Peterson’s mistress.

Tuesday: Jessica Hahn – Brought down televangelist Jim Bakker when they had an affair.

Wednesday: John Wayne Bobbitt – His wife cut off his penis.

Thursday: Kato Kaelin, O.J. Simpson’s houseguest & a witness from one of the most famous murder cases in the world.

Friday: The “Mayflower Madam” Sydney Barrows, who was busted for running an international prostitution ring.

I’m glad I said no.

Week in Review – Special Edition

This week in review is dedicated entirely to Charlie Sheen…

~Lindsay Lohan doesn’t seem so troubled after all, does she? And Mel Gibson seems pretty normal right now.

~Paging Mr. Stein… Mr. Crazy McWackenstein.

~I have fruitcake on my mind and it’s not even Christmas.

~How bad do things have to be for your Hollywood publicist to quit when you’re getting more publicity than anyone on the planet?  Oh well, at least Charlie still has his personal manager, B.L. Zebub.

~Charlie should friend Moammar Gadhafi on Facebook. They have a lot in common, both floating down De Nile River believing everything in their world is fine while Gadhafi is killing his people and Charlie is killing his career.

~This can’t end well and I don’t see Charlie “winning.”  The only happy ending in store for Charlie will be from one of his porn stars. 🙂

Academy Awards

Our streets have been blocked off all week for the Academy Awards on Sunday – it’s less commotion when the President comes to town! But I will be watching on Sunday, doing my own notes on who’s had work done and who should invest in a full length mirror. Plus I’m putting together my own list of who should win just to see if I have my finger on the pulse of the voters, or if the voters would give me the finger if I was right. 😉 Here are the nominations:

Best Actor: Javier Bardem; Jeff Bridges; Jesse Eisenberg; Colin Firth; James Franco

Best Actress: Annette Bening; Nicole Kidman; Jennifer Lawrence; Natalie Portman; Michelle Williams

Best Picture: Black Swan; The Fighter; Inception; The Kids Are Alright; The King’s Speech; 127 Hours; The Social Network; Toy Story 3; True Grit; Winter’s Bone

My choices would be: Javier Bardem (haven’t seen the movie but I think he’s sexy!), Jennifer Lawrence (haven’t seen the movie but she’s only 20 & a newcomer, how awesome would it be for her to beat the other “veterans?”, and Inception (haven’t seen it either but Denis liked it). Just because I haven’t seen the movies doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion, right?? 🙂

Who do you think should win?