Koby Bryant lost his cool during a game and used a homosexual slur, on camera!  He was fined $100,000 for offending all the people who don’t watch basketball.

Two soap operas – cancelled: All My Children (on since 1970) and One Life To Live (on since 1968). The new replacement show, slated to follow The View, will be “The Chew,” all about food with Mario Batalli. Who voted on that name? The Chew?? Say it out loud – it sounds like a sneeze!

It’s scary to hear that air traffic controllers are sleeping on the job and a solution needs to be found. I have one: bring in a woman. It doesn’t matter what she looks like as long as she has a colicky two-month old baby with her. As long as they’re both in the tower, nobody sleeps.

94-year old Zsa Zsa Gabor is having a baby. It’s not a joke. Her husband, 67-year old Prince Frederic von Anhalt, says they plan to use his sperm, an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother. Doctors say that older sperm can lead to birth defects so if that happens, would the doctor be responsible? Could he be sued? I doubt it. If Zsa Zsa sued the doctor, she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

Barry Bonds was convicted of obstruction of justice stemming from his steroid investigation but he was not convicted of lying to the grand jury about taking them. Does that mean we’re still not sure he took them? I wish I still had my show: “If Barry was Really the Best – He’ll take a Lie Detector Test!”